Sunday Reflections #1: Bricking It
Is this the face of someone who feels in control and focused towards her dreams? Or is this the face of someone who has discovered a new hairstyle she rather likes? You decide.
Today was a pretty good day. I went shopping with a dear friend to plug some of the gaps in my woefully inadequate wardrobe. We couldn’t right all of the wrongs in one solitary afternoon, but we made headway on some swim gear, comfy men’s socks (which are always better than women’s) and a cute outfit for my annual birthday photoshoot.
How am I feeling? This trip feels like the most important and most stupid thing I’ve ever done. And yet, my support system is convinced that this is what is truly meant for me. I trust them.
So with this in mind, I want to encourage myself to reflect every Sunday on the lessons learned during the week. I haven’t left Portugal yet, so this past week has been one of preparation. Here’s what I’ve learned:
Lesson 1: Things always cost more than you expect them to
We all know the feeling of flipping over a price tag of a seemingly simple sweater and backing away slowly. I’ve had many of those moments this week. Not just today at the shopping mall, but also over the week.
A rude awakening of how much travel insurance costs in Portugal.
A painful amount to settle to get my car serviced.
An eye-watering total spend after topping up on skincare, haircare, chargers and gadgets all needed for the trip.
I don’t regret any of these but it did mean that my bank balance isn’t nearly as healthy as I would like before I start my journey this week.
Lesson 2: Having your shit together can be lonely
I’m not gonna lie. I didn’t really take my relationships into account when planning this mega trip as I’ve been a lone wolf for much of my life. Though I do have concerned friends and family members, no one is really that concerned about me. My nearest and dearest (you) likely know me to be competent, confident and maybe even a little cocky about my capabilities.
“If anyone can do it, you can” has been a common refrain since announcing this grand plan.
And yes, I have the spreadsheets, documents, insurance, backup gadgets, emergency funds and what not. I am materially prepared.
But mentally? I’m shitting bricks most of the time when I think about travelling for two months (or more).
Granted, I hide it quite well. I’m sure few have picked up on the evil goofball of fear that accumulates at the back of my throat every time I talk about my parting date.
Still, I’m blessed that so many people have faith in me. I’ll process my fear in my own way. But I do wish, sometimes, that I didn’t appear quite so capable, so people could see the chaos inside.
Lesson 3: An anxious soul should not overplan
In theory, someone with my level of experience in planning and nervous disposition should revel in the details. And sure, I have a vague destination list mapped out which you can look at here. But generally, I am somewhat going with the flow here.
I’m only booking one week of accommodation in advance
I have no itineraries mapped out
I’ve time blocked work periods in the mornings to enable free afternoons
I’ve planned to be on the road for 4 hours at a time to prevent driving tired
This is overplanning to some, but to me it’s just the right amount of loose structure. There are no plays or spa sessions or concerts or historical tours or river cruises pre-booked in my calendar. My skeleton travel plan is not so strict that I’ll feel anxious or disappointed if I don’t do everything. And frankly, I want to be led by intuition and happenstance for the most part. As long as I get my work done and continue to bring in the cash, my plan is no plan.
See beautiful things. Eat good food. Have good conversations. Take mediocre pictures.
That is my MO and it makes this all a little easier to swallow.
If you have any tips for embarking on solo travel or long-term travel then comment down below or dm me as I’d love to hear them.
Ta ta for now!
Olivia x
